If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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