My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize