cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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