Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
