I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
