Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
