My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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