you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
