Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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