I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
