I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
