All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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