i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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