Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
