Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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