She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
