I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
