Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
