At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I need to calm my uterus...
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I know her cup size but not her name....
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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