Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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