The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My pussy is not your playground.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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