dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
