everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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