Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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