She announced her abortion via fbk
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
