i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
