smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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