Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
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