Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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