hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
We need a shit load of segways right now
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
