I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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