Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
