I wannas sexs uuuuu
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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