When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
