I just saw a hot homeless man
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
