i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
