at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
