So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Holy shit dude........stairs
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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