Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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