help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
