your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
