i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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