Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
