sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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