i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
