I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Ketchup is God's man juice
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
