i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
