I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
They took my balls.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
