There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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