i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
