hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
