Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
